My Research Journey

This time I will try to make as much sense as possible. I’ve already seen a therapist because finding answers to prevent pandemics for six years has made me feel so angry towards women in leadership positions that it’s dissolved my pre-frontal cortex. In layman’s terms, it’s driven me mad in the decision-making department of my brain.

My therapist (M.Naznin) concluded that my previous employers should’ve kept me because I told her all the objective answers I found to prevent pandemics. I also told her that I was tredding with every precaution in my body to become a senior-level designer so that I could have the experience to assist in preventing pandemics one day in a start-up group.

They should’ve kept me because my dad had told me to go and become somebody and to shut up and obey. Too bad they were so erratic that I’d leave those jobs not resigning, not being fired but being threatened/ harassed; they just wound up being mass murderers who shat on every country imaginable. They might as well leave the Earth now. And me? Better that I have answers to prevent disaster than not as a junior. Some of their countries aren’t rising again because they’ve been crippled by civil war and plague and infrastructural blast.

I graduated with an Associate’s Degree in Graphic Design from Raffles College of Design. No, my University wasn’t ivy league, but I had an ivy league university professor. I was working my first job as a waitress in a small wealthy suburb fresh out of University in 2014 Sept. I had so much vacancy in my mind. So I watched the news one day and saw that they were reporting the deaths of healthcare workers on the frontlines of the African Ebola outbreak. I was so shocked and saddened by this because we need those people.

I would sit in the library with a pen and notepad at the time (because I had no laptop). I wrote 1000 words on the defective material for their garments until I found one that would keep them safe in a textile engineering book, but it wasn’t feasible for a not-for-profit organisation. Not my discipline, you say? Well, Design is a very vast discipline, and that’s certainly another story. Fast forward from those 1000 words, I studied various other disciplinary fields to understand the problems further and solve them. I wrote and wrote and wrote until I thought, ‘I need a team quickly‘ as I found practical solutions to those problems before the pandemic.

But every job after that waitressing job, in a short time, I became a target. I had told only one soul, a guy who was one foot in and one other out in my personal life by 2015. I’m not going to tell you further about him. But I will say—I had to take the mission.

The level of obedience I had to have was the ground rule set by my dad. Something that some other women who bled toxic femininity knew nothing of. And hence I was punished for. Job after job, three months here after three months there… nothing but empty bitches, doomed to be nationalists who never do anything for their countries, all while having families, great… I was doomed so much that I went from the library to being homeless.

I couldn’t deal with their daddy issues. Because your mum can’t put the fear of God in you, how will you behave?

I lost so much trust in my parents that I wound up homeless because all those little (and I mean litttttle)… girls, didn’t have their daddies to correct them. Or they didn’t have a concern for the world. 

I sat across from one of my University professor Nicole Capodiece and told her, “I went from sitting in a library to homeless”. They tore my family apart by punishing me for my obedience. Then I didn’t tell my other professor, Dr Soheil Ashrafi; in another instance, when I was away from home what had happened, I had to find a group, and I had problems to solve. I had set my pity aside and asked him for help, and so he lended me help.

After being homeless for two weeks in 2016, I went and lived with my cousin AviI sat in that library studying cross contamination for a forty to ninety percent mortality rate virus when I wasn’t on good terms with my family in North Sydney Library before the pandemic. I couldn’t wait for those losers; there were too many lives at stake. I found three problems and solutions for each between Sept 2014 and Jan 2019. How’s that for timing?

When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, and the death toll struck 200,000—I lost my mind because I was giving pieces of them to the women who dragged me through the mud.

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